I want to write something about the road that you´re walking to fulfill your dream, and about the No´s that may force you to change direction. If you wish for something, if you have a dream, you don´t want the answer to be No. If you want to take a special road, you don´t want that road to be shut down. If you see a door that you want to walk through, you don´t want that door to be locked. But sometimes that road isn´t available for you, sometimes that door is closed. Sometimes you just have to give up on the idea of something, in order to gain something else.
I´ve had ideas of what I want to do with my life and how I want to do it. Even more, I´ve thought about how I really don´t want it to be. I am someone who loves to take part of other peoples lives, to hear their stories, inner desires and thoughts. Through this, I have formed a view on the world and decided how I want my life to be, and even more how I don´t want my life to be. The problem with this way of thinking is that I´m sometimes making my decisions based upon other peoples experiences. It´s nothing wrong with learning from other people, but you always have to remember that everyone is different, and the only road that is right is the one that is for you.
I have sometimes tried to walk on the wrong road, on someone elses road. If you believe someone to be succesful, it´s easy to think that in order for you to be successful, you will need to do the same things as that person. But if you follow someone elses path, the risk is that you will end up living that persons dream, and not your own. If you want to reach your goal, you need to reach it by walking your own path, and not by taking the same road as someone else.
So how do we know when we walk on our own path and not on someone else´s path? Well, maybe it´s hard to be certain. Things aren´t easy to categorize or label. The best thing you can do is to look beyond the expectations that you may feel from others, and focus on where your energy lies. Maybe you´re striving to get a certain job or career, and a good thing could be to ask yourself why you´re doing what you´re doing. Maybe the answer is that you want money. Maybe the answer is that it´s your passion. Maybe the answer is that you´ve got nothing better to do. Well... I guess that´s fine! But if your answer is that you need to prove yourself to other people, to your family or friends, maybe you should think again. I personally feel that the best way to loose your energy is to make personal choices based upon other peoples desires, or based upon what you think you have to do in order to be accepted. I tend to think this way myself, and I have an example:
For many years now, I´ve had a wish to study at a special school of photography in Sweden. I don´t remember when I got this idea, but it was a long time ago. I never thought that I would have the chance to get accepted at that school, so I didn´t bother to apply. Three years ago, I gained enough confidence to apply. I made it to the interview, but not further. I applied with even more confidence the year after that, but that year I didn´t even make it to the interview. This year I applied again. Right now I´m studying a one-year course of photography, and I thought to myself that I should really get accepted this time. What happened? I made it to the interview. But not further.
I was disappointed, of course. Honestly I was also a bit surprised, because I thought that I would make it this time (I don´t exactly lack self confidence nowadays!). But I soon realized that it was time for me to reconsider. Maybe this wasn´t the only way. I´ve been so certain about this school that I haven´t even applied for other schools. In the end, I realized that I wanted to get accepted to prove to myself that I could make it. And to prove to others that I was "good enough". I´ve had this goal written on my list for so long, that it became one of those things that I just wanted to do so I could get it off my list of things that I needed done.
What I want to say with this blog post is that sometimes we get stuck in our own ideas. Sometimes we wish for something so much, that it will stop us from developing in the right direction. A No can feel devastating, but it can turn out to be the very medicine that we need. A closed door will always mean that another door opens. I got a No, and I decided to change my direction instead of waiting in front of a closed door, not daring to move. I already am a photographer. I am an artist. And so are you. You are anything you want to be. If you allow yourself to prosper, to walk on secret paths, you will reach a place that can make you happy and free.