One month ago I, on a monday morning, I lay in my bed, sleeping away the morning hours after a hard weekend of work. My phone rang twice, but since I didn´t recognize the number, I didn´t answer. I simply put my phone on mute and continued to sleep. When I woke up I put my computer on. I had some thoughts about what I would do with my day. Since I had decided to finally start up my own business, I had some stuff to do with that. When I checked my private email, I got a chock. It was an email from the School of Photography in Gothenburg that I had applied to, without any luck, earlier this year. Well... I was called in to do an interview, but then I didn´t make it. This was the third time that I applied, and since I didn´t make it on the third time, I had decided to forget that school and go my own way, mainly focusing on starting up my own business. Now, 6 months later, I stood in my pajamas, stared at my inbox, shaking. They wanted to offer me a spot on the program. Bachelor of Fine Art in Photography. Three years. My dream school. The number one priority on my list for many years. A dream that I thought would never be real. And suddenly I got an email that told me that the school began the same day, and that I should get in contact as soon as possible if I wanted to accept my spot. I spoke with a man on the phone who told me that my class would meet in less than an hour. I jumped into the shower, trying to figure out what to wear, and then hurried off to my new school.
The first week I was afraid all the time that there had been a mistake. I waited for someone to come up to me and tell me that I no longer had a spot at the school, that I wasn´t accepted after all, that there had been a mistake. I went to the people who works with registration of new students, and asked them several times if everything was clear and if I was registrated at the program. I was! While worrying if I was accepted, I tried my best to talk to the people in my class and get to know my new school and how to find my way through all the stairs and corridors. I did my best to focus on class and to take in as much as possible. By experience I know that all things are hard in the beginning. Whether you start a new job, a new school, or move to a new town, you are bound to feel tired at least the first month. All the new things takes some time to adjust to. My first month at the school has been full of new things to learn, but for me the hardest part this time has been to mentally adjust myself to the fact that I´m actually studying at this school. I had already gotten used to the fact that I wouldn´t study at this school. I was quite angry with this school and I had figured out that it wasn´t a school for me. I was going to work on my own.
Today I´ve been at the school for a little more than a month. I still can´t believe that I´m really here. It feels a bit surreal. I can´t really identify with the one who got "lucky" and the one who "got in". This is what I have strived for. This is what I have dreamed of. This is what I have been crying for and talking about for many years. And suddenly it happens. Suddenly I´m in. And I´m thinking about what happens when you get what you want, when your dream comes true. Then you have to set up new goals, draw new roads to follow. I´m excited to see where this will lead me!
Here´s me in my pyjamas this morning :) Thank you for reading!